Sunday, February 21, 2010

Without Love... my reminder for the night

(For the curious... the answer to where we were is on the post below this one!)  :o)

I had just settled happily onto the couch for the evening, after a late night getting the kids tucked into bed and many trips back upstairs to tend to their various "needs".  After only a few minutes rest, Seth called out, yet again, from his upstairs bedroom.  "Mo-om, I want to tell you something.  Can you come here please?" 

I have to admit, I'm thankful he wasn't close enough to hear my pitiful sigh as I paused wearily at the bottom of the staircase before ascending to his room.  I had been really looking forward to some time to myself.  Ahh, there was that great parenting resource book I've been reading... or I was thinking about writing a family update post on our blog... and I was eager to do a little more adoption reasearch too... so many things I had my heart set on doing in my precious free time tonight.  And now my time was getting cut even shorter.

As I picked my tired feet up the flight of old stairs, I could feel a little twinge in my heart.  It wasn't too strong or too loud... it was that still, small voice I knew well.  And it was quietly calling for an attitude change. 
"Mmm hmm", I inwardly noded, understanding God's reminder to me.  It was my love for my children that drove me to invest in those other things in the first place.  ... Still, I entered Seth's room with an agenda of getting things taken care of, and then getting back downstairs as quickly as I could...

Forty-five minutes later I stood in Seth's doorway, telling him that I loved him and wishing him sweet dreams.  My expression was softer, and so was my heart.  Oh, yes, it had taken time, quite a bit of time.  And now I wouldn't be able to do all those "super important" things tonight.... But that was ok.  I had spent forty-five minutes with a little boy who just needed some reassuring.  When I entered, his sweet, tender heart was concerned about something, and he was sad to the point of tears.  He was happy now, smiling and laying peacefully close to sleep.  How thankful I was that I hadn't simply yelled up the stairs for him to quiet down and go to bed, as I had selfishly wanted to, without even checking to see if he had a legitimate issue or if he was mearly stalling for more awake time.  

After all, what good are my great parenting books, and blogging about the four of us, and the desire to expand our family through adoption if I'm reacting selfishly and without putting my love for them into action right now? 

Hmmm.  Not much good, I guess.

I'm glad for the reminder.  



"If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 
If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains but have not love, I am nothing. 
If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

~ 1 Corinthians 13:1-7

3 comments:

Lesley said...

Wow, Natalie, what a great post! I'm sure there is not one mom on the planet that can't relate to what you talked about here. Sometimes it can be SO hard to keep the right perspective when we are so desperate for some time to ourselves. I am sure your little guy was incredibly blessed to have his mommy spend that extra time with him. :)
I'm just starting some studying of my own on 1 Corinthains 13 and hope to post some of my thoughts and discoveries about it on my blog. It has really been on my heart lately to study what it means to "love," and really dig deep by looking at the original Greek and all that fun stuff. :) It is SO applicable to my daily life and how I treat my hubby and kids and I can't wait to see what God teaches me through it!

Thanks for sharing this and hope you have a wonderful week!

Kami said...

What a beautiful reminder - I love this post. I can completely understand the feeling of just wanting time to yourself. I think it's amazing that you pulled above your flesh and showed Seth the love he needed.

You're quite inspiring :)

S. and Company said...

Thank you. I appreciate your comments. (But I don't know if I'd call myself inspiring, considering the following night was pretty much the same inner struggle - only this time with Haddie!) ;o)